Today, dear friends, we complete our Winona Ryder hat trick with 1994's Little Women. Can Sean keep focused? Could Bill take Ken Burns in a fight? Do we restart this episode 17 times? No, no, and no! It was 18 times. I'm gonna be honest guys I'm not really feeling this ep description so I'm just going to say this: listen, rate, review, subscribe, burn your sister's manuscript, rail against marriage, and then get engaged in the final seconds of the movie. Little Women stars Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon, Hermione Granger, Lady Bird, Claire Danes, Kirsten Dunst, the girl from Midsommar, Christian Bale, and TIMOTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHALAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
We finally did it, folks! We finally watched a movie that people wanted us to talk about! It's the 2003 Boston Shakespearean tragedy, Mystic River from the mumbliest director in the old west, Ol' Blue Eyes himself, Mayor of the city that never sleeps, Clinton Eastwood. Is this movie funny? NOT AT ALL. Is this episode funny? What'd you crack your head, kid? Course it's funny. You're with the Balcony boys. Did Bill watch Mystic Pizza instead of Mystic River? Only time will tell. So come along as we dip our toes into a body of water you should never dip your toes into! Mystic River stars Isthatmydaugh Terinthere and the Savage Brothers, Fred and Corey Matthews.
Attention Black Friday shoppers, there's a sale on.... your hearts! The Balcony Boys grabbed a cup of hot cocoa, dumped out the cocoa, filled it up with love, drank it, and then sat down to discuss their top 5 Christmas movies of all time! It's a Christmas miracle wherein they only overlapped twice probably but maybe three or four times! Who cares! It's the holiday season and loop de loop and dickory dock, don't forget to hang up your sock and also download this quick little shot of seasonal pick-me-up what does that sentence even say. God Bless America and God Bless the United States of America and God Ble
Gobble, gobble, you flippin Puritans. It's the busiest travel day of the year and the Balcony Boys have got you covered with a turkey that even the most benevolent of US Presidents couldn't pardon. Yes, friends, it's time we travel all the way back to 1952 and take a look at Plymouth Adventure, a film that can only be described as "completely inaccurate" and "very boring." Sexier than the reenactors at Plimoth Plantation but not as sexy as anything that can be described as sexy, Plymouth Adventure tells the tale of all the drunken horniness that accompanied the Pilgrims (and others) on that fateful sex romp across the Atlantic on the Mayflower. Don't watch this film this film in mixed company because your company will fall fast asleep. Plymouth Adventure stars Spencer Tracy and a bunch of dorks dressed like nerds. Happy Thanksgiving from our balcony to yours! Black Friday sale happening right now. Go to any ecommerce site and use offer code "Balcony19" to see if that saves you any money!
It's a brazzle dazzle day today in the Balcony so let us be your candle on the water and steer you toward a third song title from today's masterpiece Pete's Dragon from 1977. With the launch of Disney+, the Balcony Boys take a deep dive into Passamaquody Harbor and break down the legality of orphan purchasing and dragon keeping. Who do you call when an invisible dragon fucks up your fence? Do you know? Cause I spent a lot of money putting that fence in and late one night when I was coming home from a hard night of drinking with my friends in the lighthouse game, an invisible dragon threw me and my car right through it. There's no other explanation and like a good neighbor, State Farm won't believe me until I have proof. Pete's Dragon stars all your favorite stars of the 30s, 40s, 50s, and today!
Gather round, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England, you fakers of medical degress, you cuckolds of vets... it's the Cider House Rules today in the Balcony. What business are you in? Cause we're in the watching movies and then talking about the movies biz and boy howdy have we got a movie that we watched and want to talk about. Nominated for more Academy Awards than anybody could justify 20 years later, we tackle all the hardest hitting questions one could have from watching this film such as who is Sean's best friend? Why it's your friendly neighborhood apple picker. Too bad Tobey Maguire didn't have his organic web shooters yet cause that would have made picking apples so much more efficient, we could have avoided an entire incest subplot. The Cider House Rules stars Tobey Maguire, Charlize Theron, Michael Caine, Roman Roy, Delroy Lindo, a bucket of apples and mostly Paul Rudd.
Oh Captain, my captain... get off your damn desk and get your ass up into the Balcony as the boys discover and rediscover the 30th anniversary of the stuffy boarding school drama Dead Poets Society. Guys, is poetry fun? Was that question grammatically correct? Who knows? Who cares? Carpe Diem or whatever. Put on your Hogwarts robes and sneak off to the Indian cave cause friends, we gots some living to do. What's your favorite poem? Is it the one about the escaped prisoner with the hook hand who sneaks up to Lover's Lane? My favorite poem is this podcast. I genuinely fear for my mental health with each additional word I add to this episode description. Rate, Review, Subscribe, Carpe, and Diem. Dead Poets Society stars the Genie from Aladdin, the bad guy from Robocop, a Muppet Baby version of Ethan Hawke, a guy named Josh Charles and another guy that looks just like Josh Charles. Good luck!
Gather all ye virgins and let me sing you a tale of three witch sisters and the virgin that resurrected them accidentally by using his virgin fingers to light a candle in what can only be described as the virgin goof of the century. That's right, all you blossoming young boys and girls, we watched the 1993 Disney cult classic Hocus Pocus and you know what? It's a movie! We tried our best to keep this episode clean and free from the scourge of profanity but Sean insulted Motley Crue and Bill lost his cool. It happens. But what I can tell you is that this episode is the perfect cap to the first annual Boo Englund celebration of all the spookier New England films. Fare thee well, October. We'll see you next October! And we'll see you here every Wednesday for more new episodes as we ramp into the holiday season the only way we know how - ignorantly discussing movies that we're only partially familiar with and insulting each other in ways both new and revolting.
Do you want to live.... balcony-ly? Boys and girls, grab your pitchforks and your other things that you carry on a witch hunt cause we found the 2015 trip into madness, the Witch! Robert Eggers, you crazy for this one. Join the screen debut probably of the world's greatest living actor, Harvey Scrimshaw and travel to just outside old Plimoth Colony where a bunch of super puritans run into a nasty little goat and his coven of witches. Maybe? There's almost no way to know if we understood this beautiful little movie but we sure did watch it! The Witch stars an old faced English man, an old faced English woman, an old faced English girl, an old faced English boy, the twins from the Shining and BBBBBBBBBBBLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK Philip.
Smack dab in the middle of Boo England, it's the Two Boys in a Balcony Halloween Spooktacular! With special guest appearances from Sean Sullivan! Bill McMorrow! The boys are counting down their FIVE FAVORITE SCARY MOVIES and talking about a whole lot more. It's a bonus episode because we* love you**
**the sound of his own voice