July 31, 2019
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, listen to this podcast like its your wife. From my personal point of view, this is a podcast to listen to. MERMAIDS! This week in the balcony, we're splashing around with Cher, Winona, Bobby, and the gang and we're talking MERMAIDS, a movie so nice they had three directors. Did you know that? Well you will in the next 90 minutes. We get into this charming little picture and sing a whole bunch. I can't remember what else happens but who cares? Listen, rate, review, and don't go up in the bell tower when you're drunk. What's the matter with you? It's Mermaids with the boys and no, we don't know why it's called that either.
July 24, 2019
Grab a bucket of scrap paper and head to the woods. Today in the Balcony, we're talking the 1946 forgotten classic the Stranger, directed and starring Orson flipping Welles. Hey who reupholstered all the chairs up here? It's looking classy as shit in the balcony. Have you ever suspected that your teacher at your prestigious prep academy might be a Nazi? Well have we got a film for you. The Stranger stars Orson Welles, Edward G Robinson, Loretta Young, an annoying pharmacist, a dog of indeterminate color, and an obsession with clocks that borders on mania. Join America's Dumbest Film Critics as we audition to replace whoever hosts the movies on Turner Classic Movies. Is it Robert Osborne? WATCH YOUR BACK, OSBORNE!
July 17, 2019
This week in the balcony, the boys finally make good on their promise to cover the films of New England and step outside the comforts of their beloved Massachusetts and land in Pawtucket, RI, a city that is very much Outside Providence. That's right! It's the 1999 stoner comedy about a boy named Dildo, his buddy named drugs, and a three legged dog named dog? I don't really remember. But he was three legs. Does this film hold up 20 years later? Did it hold up 20 years ago? Outside Providence stars Alec Baldwin, Shawn Hatosy, Amy Smart, and the beautiful city of Outside Providence. You don't have to be a grad student at Brown University to enjoy this show. Just a fan of insightful commentary from America's Dumbest Film Critics.
July 10, 2019
It's the episode the Vatican doesn't want you to hear... though... in fairness... I'm sure they don't want you to hear any of the episodes or any other episodes of any podcasts for that matter. Serial? No thanks. WTF? I don't think so. This American Life? How bout this American Hell is where you'll be if you listen to that. Well anyway, the boys are talking about Spotlight, the 2015 Academy Award winning film that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL. Can the boys do it? Can they make their comedy film podcast work with a movie like Spotlight? Can you put a popemobile together for $1,300? Uh yeah you can and yeah they did. Does anyone read these? It's Spotlight on Two Boys in a Balcony
July 3, 2019
Today in the balcony, the boys are talking the Friends of Eddie Coyle, a movie so Boston, baby, they stop to watch the Bruins play hockey for 10 minutes. An absolute masterpiece, the boys are going to have to insist that you watch this movie asap. The Friends of Eddie Coyle was directed by Peter Yates and stars Robert Mitchum, Peter Boyle, cool cars, grocery bags, and that thing up in New Hampshire
June 26, 2019
The Balcony is open so watch your step because if you twist your ankle on your way up here, good luck suing us! We've got the world's greatest legal mind, Elle Woods, on retainer and we'll sue you for messing up our stairs. As quintessential a New England film as Good Will Hunting and Jaws, the Balcony Boys are breaking down the 2001 smash hit, Legally Blonde! That's right! So what if not one second of the production took place on the East Coast, let alone New England. This is the New England movies podcast and if a movie wants to substitute Southern California for Cambridge, MA, the Balcony Boys will take the case. Could I fit more legal nonsense into the episode description? Objection! Order in... the podcast! Legally Blonde was directed by some guy and it stars some people and you have the right to remain... laughing! Fun!
June 13, 2019
Ladies and gentlemen, the balcony is open for business. Join the balcony boys as they kick off their exploration of the films of New England with the 2000 classic The Perfect Storm. Directed by the great Wolfgang Petersen and starring George Clooney, Diane Lane, and the patron saint of New England cinema, Mark Wahlberg, comedians Sean Sullivan and Bill McMorrow take you through this harrowing true story. Does Diane Lane have the worst Boston accent in the history of film? Who should get priority seating at a mass funeral? Can you Tony Hawk Pro Skate your wave over a 10,000 foot wave?
Let the Two Boys in the Balcony, America's dumbest film critics, take you to the Flemish Cap and pray for a safe return